Only a matter of time
by Sayomi-san1
Summary: After the years of his growing feelings, Kyle finally comes clean to the person he's been crushing on for so long. But will all go well with said person in a stable relationship, and only ever classing Kyle as his best friend. Can things change? Will the Ginger boy get his one true love's, love in return? /Rated M for lemons lime yaoi ectt... in later chapters *Warning:* BoyXboy/
1. A Change of Seasons

**_/cough-cough/_ Hello wonderful people of fanfiction... it's been a while _/3 yearsCOUGH/_ but I'm glad to be back, and I've returned with... some south park**  
**It is my first south park fic, and it has been a while so be nice on me will ya :3 and please always remember to, follow, fav, rate, review... whatever ya feel like. **  
**ENJOY~~**

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Kyle rolled out of bed onto the cold floor, he shivered and crawled over to his drawers pulling out a pair his favourite jeans and wriggled into them.  
He stood up and stared into the body length mirror on his cupboard door, he smiled slightly, that dream was the last straw… today was the day. He fixed his hair as best he could, the night's sleep was long and no amount of hair products could fix the bed head he had right now even having the Jew-like fro that he did, bed hair was still possible it stuck out in all the wrong places and was completely flat on the side he slept. He stopped and laughed a loud for a second, "No one see's it anyway so why am I worrying" he laughed as he pulled on his green ushanka along with his over warn orange jacket.

After getting changed and cleaning himself up he checked the time, still enough time to spare to take a quick bite of breakfast before the bus. His nerves were a wreck the whole journey, he had vowed to himself for a long time that something like this would click and the information he stored would have to be shared, how it would be taken is a different story, a bridge that will be crossed when he got to it… the thought was too daunting.  
He trudged his boots along the white thick blanket of snow beneath him and stopped dead when he heard the voice of his closest friend, and soon to be not friend… he shook his head,  
"Don't think about it like that" he murmured to himself trying to stay positive, the fact he was soon to confess his love to his childhood 'best friend forever' who was in a stable relationship with the smartest girl in school did not mean that Stan would stop being his friend, their relationship has lasted too long now, kindergarten right up till high school… so the worst that could happen is that he would be rejected, which wasn't so bad? Was it…? Anyway who's to say that Stan wouldn't return his feelings, or was he just being too optimistic.

Kyle looked up and smiled,  
"Hey bro did you do your calculus homework last night?" Stan queried  
"Yeaah…" he replied slowly adding "Please tell me you did because dude I'm not bailing you out of more work that you should be doing yourself, it's how you learn"  
"Yeah well I'm fine with every other subject just not that shit man it's too confusing" Stan sulked  
"Then drop the class?" his friend stated giving him a very snarky look  
"Mum would flip and it's useful for the future" Stan shrugged  
What was just said caused Kyle to laugh and gain a confused stare from the raven haired teen "What?!"  
Kyle finished laughing and replied "Nothing dude, just didn't think you were one to think about the future and shit like that." Stan shrugged again, and half jumped when the breaks of the un-noticed bus pulled up in front of them.

Kenny and Cartman got onto the bus first, Kyle was to focused on the conversation with Stan to even notice them, they sat together near the back of the bus still arguing about whatever it was Kyle didn't care enough about to… well care? He overheard Cartman throwing in the odd insult to Kenny's family and wealth, Stan and Kyle taking the usual seat in front and their journey to school was completed in utter silence.

Kyle set the 'deed' to go down at lunch time, the end of the school day was too long to wait for and he was getting impatient about this, the first three of his classes past slowly and painfully making it all the more hard to keep a calm and peaceful mind, his thoughts on how this could go where the only thing he could think about, though thankfully enough he had only one more period before lunch and it was study hall, which he could sit with Kenny and hope that time could pass faster with their normally entertaining conversations. People think it strange that Kenny and Kyle would talk much, but after the first year of high school and the difficulties Kyle had adjusting Kenny and him had started to talk more, and maybe he could tell Kenny about his situation it's not like he could tell Stan first and spoil anything, Kenny's decent enough to keep his mouth shut about stuff like this if asked, he's pretty loyal to promises and shit like that.

"Hey Kitten" Kyle look round to greet the purring distinctive tone that belonged to Kenny McCormick,  
"You still pursue on calling me that?" Kyle asked wirily, Kenny just nodded as Kyle took the seat next to him. "How's the crush keeping?" Kyle questioned, a quick route to bring up what he wanted to talk about, though the fact the infamous man whore that is Kenny McCormick had a crush on someone was tripping up a lot of people, he was known for his constant parties that end in one night stands and flirting with nearly anything that breaths, he has most likely had every girl in school in bed at one stage even some of the guys. Kyle blinked bringing himself back to the topic at hand he looked as Kenny's thoughtful expression held there for a second,  
"Goooood" he purred again "Why do you ask?" Kyle took a second to word his answer carefully…  
"Wanted to know if it was going good so you could give me a bit of advice" he smiled, Kenny stared back confused for a second  
"You're chopping morning wood for someone!?" He gasped earning a playful punch from the other  
"Kenny! It's more than that" Kyle replied in a mocking offended tone,  
"Well spill who's the lucky girl…or guy" Kenny finish.  
"No one special" Kyle smile as he looked off to the side doubting wither this was a smart move.  
"SO I'M NOT SPECIAL TO YOU" Kenny gasped jokingly, Kyle laughed  
"Of course you are just not that kind of special… If you really must know… now don't be going 'n' telling anyone… but its sorta Stan…"


	2. The best of times

**Heyy~ Donno how long it's been since the last chapter but yanno had the motivation and excitement to upload this one after I finished it, I really do hope you readers like it, again it is my first south park fic and I am trying really hard with it so if there is anything I can do better, review and tell me what to change, if you've any request for the fic also tell me, even though I know where I'm going with this :3 Anyway, read and enjoy~ and always try rate and review x3 xox**

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Kenny bit back a response, now was not a good time to… speak without thinking, he stopped for a second, pushed his own feelings aside and opened his mouth to speak, "Quite brave now aren't we? You do realize he's dating Wendy?"

Kyle nodded slightly, "I'm not looking for much from this, just… to make my feelings known. I've kept them to myself for too long" Kyle gave a deep sigh at the end and looked back a Kenny, whose expression was rather strange, "What?" Kyle tilted his head and gave the boy in front a look of confusion, though the blonde was in a whole different world and only zoned back to reality after what seemed like 20 minutes  
"Wait what?" he looked at Kyle, who now looked even more confused than before, and laughed a bit "Sorry Kitten, was thinking…" he paused, "Well I support you" Kenny smiled his sweet little blue-eyed boy smile and continued "Just be careful, I don't want you getting hurt, but if something happens I'm right here Kitty, alright?" Kenny finished by ruffling Kyle's hair. Kyle grinned lightly and swatted Kenny's hand away,  
"Thanks dude, and I'm going to tell him on lunch break in a couple of minutes just so kn-" Kenny interrupted by choking on the string of his hoodie he must have been sucking on,  
"TODAY!" Kyle's eyes widened as he patted his friends back softly to stop him choking  
"Yeah… is that a problem?"  
The blonde inhaled sharply "Well… no… just, good luck to you, come find me after you do so we can talk?" Kyle nodded, with the sudden sound of the lunch bell filling the class and students now filling the exit to the door way, he and Kenny stood up and parted ways, now the adventure to find the Jock.

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"But babe I have practice with the guys this Saturday before our big game next week" Stan whined.  
"Fine! Do what you want just don't blame me when it comes back to bite you! Bebe's party is going to be the talk of the school and we could have actually had a bit of fun together, but noo~ you'd rather hang out with your sweaty friends killing each other over a ball" Wendy shrieked and stormed off with Stan reaching out and calling after her for a second before he gave up, his efforts were normally fruitless when she was like this, the fact she even tried to blackmail Stan with the idea of them finally having sex shocked him a bit. His relationship with Wendy had run its course right through middle school till now and they'd never even got to 2nd base. No one understood how she went from her, high-class noble personality, to dropping grades and acting like… well a dumb blonde. Stan believed high-school popularity ranking did it to her, she was changing but he couldn't complain; he felt too emotionally dependent on her to do anything about it so he just adjusted to the change whenever it occurred.

Stan walked off out of the school gates to go get lunch still deep in thought about his relationship with his hot head girlfriend, he recalled how there used to be… that spark that everyone talks about when him and Wendy first got together officially in middle school, cause well they were together before in 4th grade which was just childish playtime. But now that he looks at it closer the spark just doesn't exist anymore,  
"Am I really not attracted to her like I was before" he mumbled aloud, he sighed, shrugged and decided to ditch lunch and school altogether to clear his head.

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Kyle had started at the lockers, and was surprised to not find him there, he'd have to switch his books out for the classes he had after lunch, right? He continued with a couple bathrooms, checked the changing rooms near the gym suite, and finished up at the football track, with no luck and the end of lunch bell marking the end of his search. Kyle trudged back to his next class pretty annoyed with the outcome of his lunch break; he had 3 more classes to go before the end of school so plans just had to be adjusted for things to happen at the end of school instead. Kyle smile as he realized he had calculus with Stan, but it's not like he could tell him there, he'd just make sure they could meet up after school.

As calculus rolled in and he took his seat near the back of the class, the seat behind him was empty… 10 minutes past and still no stragglers appeared at the door. He knew Stan was in school today because they got the bus together, it didn't take long to just accept that Stan must have bunked off the rest of school, he did it often enough with all his Jocky friends but he was going to get in trouble yet again.

When school finally ended and Kyle feeling like it was the longest school day he'd ever had to suffer though he pulled out his phone and looked up Stan's number, three rings later and a sluggish low voiced answered.  
"Yeo, Kyle sup?"  
Kyle groaned lowly "What do you thinks up, you ditched school again, and there you were talking about the future this morning"  
"Wooh Mom, I just needed a breather had a lot on my mind" Stan's voiced ached down the phone.  
"Oh…" Kyle said blandly "Same actually… if you're not doing anything now we can meet up have a bit of guy time and talk about it" he questioned  
"Sure" Stan replied, he could do with a bit of guy time with his best friend right now. "Meet me at the gates in 10 minutes?" Stan queried  
"Sure" Kyle said and the phone call ended. The ginger smiled and went to slide his phone back in his pocket before he grip came loose and it dropped to the ground, the cause being his eyes we're suddenly covered. He snapped his hands up to the ones covering his eyes and ran his hands over them trying desperately to identify the owner.  
The owner of the hands leaned down and whispered seductively in his ear  
"Did I frighten the little Kitten?" before letting go and bursting into laughter,  
Kyle gasped lightly in relief, "Hey Ken~"  
"How'd things go with Stan?" the blonde smiled back  
"He skipped the rest of school but we're hanging out it 10 I'm meeting him at the gates" Kyle explained, before turning 180 on his heel and skipping off,  
"Again good luck!" Kenny called after him.


	3. Build me up, Break me down

**A/N - still wither you know it or not this story is meant for revenge on my house mate for a long ago insult to each-others ship he ships Style I ship Kenny :P so I don't really mind wither this story gets far or even any attention, I just thought I'd upload it for the simple fact I am quiet proud of it, so anyway, on with the story, please rate, review fav ect... tell me how I could be better what I'm doing wrong ectt...**

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Kyle sat outside the gates of South park high for just over twenty minutes waiting for his friend to turn up.  
"Yeo" Stan called as he waved to Kyle. Kyle ran up to him.  
"What happened to ten minutes?" Kyle whined, looking like the extra ten would have killed him.  
"Understatement" the ebony shrugged before walking off away from the gates, having Kyle skip a few steps to catch up to him.  
"So what was bothering you?" Stan looked over his shoulder to give Kyle a concerned look.  
"Um you first…" Kyle replied  
"Just Wendy being, uptight and bitchy as usual" Stan let out a long groan,  
"Well, that's not to good, have you tried having a talk with her and explaining how you feel?" Kyle suggested, after Stan came up with a sharp uncalled for comment on how feelings are for pansies, and girls.  
Kyle bit his lip a bit questioning how he was going to overcome this whole confession business or whether he should even say anything at all on the topic after Stan's comment. But like he said to himself before, he's felt like this for too long, he might as well say something rather than continue feeling this way and not knowing what would happen, though he could ask a hypothetical question…  
"What if you had a best friend who had feelings for you?" Kyle stopped for a second hoping he wasn't being too obvious but sometimes Stan can be pretty dense, he continued "Would you accept their feelings or turn them down?"  
There was a uncomfortable silence as Kyle waited for Stan to answer, he thought for a bit before opening his mouth to speak… but closed it again, out of nowhere though came  
"Yes," Kyle couldn't help but gasp and snap his head round to check if his friend was being serious, "if I had feelings for them, I guess I would return them… even in my current situation"  
Kyle grew a smile that was too wide for his face as started swaying back and forth like a love struck teenage girl, he gained a scared look from his friend before beating him to a sentence,  
"Well, see I'm sort of glad to hear that because… there's been something I've been meaning to tell you for a while, but never quite got the courage to do so…"  
Stan's expression began to grow slightly more scared at what information Kyle had kept secret  
"See I've sort of had this crush on… you for a while now" the ginger continued "and…" he stopped and looked at his friend whose face was slightly contorted, like he was stifling… laughter?  
"Kyle!" he couldn't hold it anymore as Stan burst into laughter "Man you can stop, we're bros, I get it I love you too" Stan's laughter grew, as Kyle started to regret owning up to his feelings  
"Stan I'm being serious. I really do love you." The ginger boy's broke a bit as he spoke

"Quit it, Kyle your making my s-stomach hurt hahaha!" He bent down a little holding his stomach. People began to crowd around the two confused at the ruckus.  
"Stan! Please stop it. I feel this way and you're laughing at my feelings." Tears swelled up in Kyle's eyes.  
Stan stopped dead, laughter stopped and he stood up straight looking Kyle dead in the eyes "You're being serious, aren't you?"  
"Of course I am!" Kyle yelled as the tears piled up more and more in his eyes.  
"I-I'm sorry Kyle. But I just don't feel that way about you. I love Wendy, not you, you're just my friend"

"Oh sick!" Someone yell.

"The little Jewish boy is a fag!" Another called in disgust.

"How gross?! On top of being a day-walker," Kyle's heart sank as he heard more and more people call him names and telling him that he should 'go die'. Stan did nothing to stop them and the tears began to fall.

"Hey all of you should shut the fuck up!"

Huh? Who said that? Kyle looked up to see Kenny blocking him from everyone like he was protecting him, he didn't want to see Kenny take shit for him so something in Kyle's body told him to run, run far away from the heartbreak and pain and just never return… and he listened.

"I'm gay and none of you went and said I was sick or shit like that." Kenny voice held a strong tone of aggression that made a few people immediately back off,  
"Yea. But Kenny we knew that you were gay from the beginning so it didn't bother us and you're a man whore. I think everyone saw that coming." Bebe said coming out from the crowd.  
"Doesn't make a fucking difference in fact it should make me worse for whoring myself out to anything with a pulse were as Kyle just wanted a relationship, all you fuckers get into relationships all the time, Girl, GUY what fucking difference does it make. Either you all fuck up or stand up and stop giving people shit for the sake of it" Kenny finished his speech but half why through noticed Kyle's absence and so took off in the direction he left to find him.

If you'd been in that position you'd understand, it would kill for the person you've had a crush on for 5 years to say and do that to you and when people dissed you he doesn't even protect you spite him being your super best friend! Kyle appreciated Kenny's help though he probably only did it because he doesn't want anybody to disrespect the gays or something like that? Kyle though, It helped though… slightly.


	4. Dance of Eternity

**A/N - Been a while since I update so the last chapter this chapter and the next 2-3 will all be done and uploaded quiet quickly, they've been sitting there on my computer with-out actually being uploaded :c anyway, like always, please rate, review, fav, ect... it shouldn't take too much of your time and if your a writer yourself you know and appreciate how nice it is to get criticism on your own work, good or bad **

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Kyle sat there on his bedroom floor hugging his knees as tears slowly rolled down his face, he hadn't stopped crying since he ran away from the awful scene at school. He wanted to come home and hug his mum but that was a little bit childish, even so it was what he wanted in order to feel better, but his parents weren't even in, they were on a trip to his aunt's house in Canada and Ike was probably at Karen or Ruby's place, so he was alone… in the big empty house with only his thoughts and feelings to keep him company, and they weren't doing that good of a job.

**_*knock knock*_**

Kyle jumped slightly and looked around, _who could be calling?_ He didn't really want to answer the door, having to go downstairs in this state, it was probably only for his parents anyway but he went over to the window to check, the porch outside blocked his view so he ignored it, but a very persistent person continued their knocking till the agitated ginger went down to shut it up.

He opened the door and was pretty shocked to be met with a tight hug from his honey blonde friend.  
"Kenny!?" Kyle chocked as tears started welling up in his eyes again threatening to spill.  
"Shh Kitten it's alright, I have your back, what Stan did was completely insensitive, but he'll come round and apologize once he understands" Kenny's voice was soothing, full of concern and worry, he sounded like his only objective in life was to comfort the crying boy in front of him, his hand rubbed up and down Kyle's back and hushed his tears. Kyle pushed Kenny away to arm's length and stared into the vibrant blue eyes of the prettiest boy in school.  
"Kenny" Kyle's voice hid something deep inside, he called Kenny's name but it didn't sound like a question, Kenny looked at him confused and replied,  
"Yes?" Kyle's face contorted slightly and grew closer to the blondes.

Within seconds Kyle had forced his lips onto Kenny's and pushed him against the door, Kenny too shocked to do anything and concerned as to the sudden show of affection when Kyle just confessed to Stan, clearly Kyle's heart was just looking for company so Kenny pushed him off and confronted him on his actions but Kyle just gave him thee most hurt look anyone could give and replied very solemnly "For me Kenny, please I want this so much I want you." Kenny's own feelings couldn't be put aside after hearing that from Kyle.

Their arms are around each other too quickly, lips clashing too fast, Kenny's hands on Kyle's hips too suddenly, but this rushed feeling, this hurriedness… it's always characterized their relationship. It ignited quickly and burned out just as fast. Kyle didn't care how bizarre it looked as his gloved hands found the front of the blonde's torn shirt and deepened the kiss. He ignored the scent of sex and tobacco and dirt clinging to the blonde and concentrate on the flavor of Kenny, on the taste of the man he was forcing himself on to.

Kyle questioned his actions for a good nanosecond before he sucked the blondes tongue with everything he had and grinding his hips against the rather sizable bulge arguing with their jeans. He had never wanted a hot, nasty fuck so much in my life. Kenny slid a thigh between Kyle's legs and raised him slightly backing him into the living room. Kyle's hands were everywhere on his handsome counterpart...his face, his hair, his shoulders, his chest...Kyle's fingertips discovered his nipples were hard, and he liked having them pinched lightly. It made Kyle wonder if he'd liked having them sucked... he felt bad about that nice shirt. He was MEANT to unbutton it, but his hands didn't get the message so Kyle had completely stripped the blonde of his upper body clothing. The yank-rip-suck combination that came after nearly made Kenny cum in his pants. Kyle tongued and nibbled his nipples until Kenny was moaning at him in some kind of private language. Kyle simply smiled and nodded too concerned with what's happening now to ask him to repeat himself.

Apparently what Kenny had said was, "May I yank your pants down, toss you up on the arm of the sofa and eat you?" because that's exactly what he did. His mouth came down like it owned the ginger boy...licking, slurping, nibbling...biting gently, possessively...flicking against Kyle's rigid erection. Kenny gripped the fragile ankles of the small boy beneath him and shoved them above his head granting himself access to the small boys ass, he bit down on both cheeks, licked and nibbled, then slid his tongue very lightly up the crack of Kyle' ass. Very lightly. So close...so very close. Kyle moaned helplessly, unable to tell him what he wanted, not that he had to. The minute he surrendered and made the "I want you" sound, Kenny's tongue thrust into the gingers ass. He tongue fucked Kyle's hole until he was clawing at the arm of the chair, trying desperately to hold on and not scream. Kenny's mouth moved back to Kyle's member, and sucked hard, Kyle's back arched as and mewled the pleasure had caused him to miss Kenny sliding a slick finger into his ass a few strokes and sucks later, Kyle came...and why every window in the house didn't shatter he didn't know.

Kenny's eyes shone down on Kyle as and his hands moved. Kyle heard the clink of the blondes belt, the sharp sound of his zipper and the laughter in his voice as he said "Come here, my scared little kitty." sliding him off the sofa, Kyle's naked ass landed on the cold wooden floor. Once the shock wore off, Kyle discovered it was a dandy little position for comfortable cock sucking. It worked out well for Kenny, too, because he could lean forward and brace his palms against arms of the sofa while the ginger sucked the absolute hell out of his swollen cock. Kyle stared up at him, watching him watch his cock slide deeper and deeper into his mouth...Kenny's eye widening in disbelief as he felt himself slide over the small boy's tongue and into his throat. Kyle chuckled and the sound vibrated against Kenny, causing his eyes to roll back into his head, his hips to thrust and his entire load to shoot down his throat.

Kenny sat on the floor next to Kyle for a bit, pants and underwear down around his ankles. Anyone could think he was trying to get his eyes to focus. Kyle was trying, but not very hard, to get the shit-eating grin off my face. He had never seen Kenny so completely blind-sided by an orgasm, well he had never seen anyone but he would have to imagine for Kenny to have so many sexual partners that it be hard to blind-side him. Finally, he blinked a couple of times and mumbled something... Kyle chuckled again, sort of a triumphant sounding chuckle. Kenny looked at him and smiled slowly. "Now you're in trouble," he said softly.

He stripped Kyle naked while holding his wrists, pinning them behind Kyle's head, Kenny's mouth now reaching down to meet the gingers. Kyle ground his body against Kenny, flaunting himself, feeling free and hornier than he'd ever been. He wanted it NASTY and he wanted it NOW. Kenny slid his hands all over Kyle and put his mouth against my ear, sending shivers up his spine. Kenny moved Kyle to the edge of the sofa throwing his upper body over it, so his ass was facing Kenny looking puckered and ready to be fucked. Kyle braced himself as Kenny rubbed his stiffening cock against his ass and thrust it in. He wiggled back at him, loving the way his ass felt as it rubbed against his pubic hair, "Fuck me!" Kyle moaned loudly, and as if on command Kenny gripped Kyle's hips tighter and obliged, each stroke coming in hard enough to lift Kyle off his toes. Kyle found himself pushing back against Kenny, feeling every inch of him stroke so deeply. Both boys were in bliss and neither attempting to be quiet, their bodies slapped together, breathing was harsh and ragged, and neither one of could stop the moans, the pleas to be fucked harder, the groans and every other noise in-between. Kyle kept howling "fuck me!" and Kenny kept releasing a running stream of compliments about Kyle's hot, tight ass.

He worked his cock in and out of Kyle's ass slowly and carefully. He felt huge! Was the only thing registering in Kyle's head Kenny's balls slamming against him as he pushed himself back meeting each trust, wanting every inch of Kenny's cock to impale his hot, horny hole. Kenny reached around Kyle, one hand gripping his left nipple hard, the other going for his penis as he tugged it harshly. The combined sensations nearly drove Kyle over the edge. Kenny withdrew suddenly, turned Kyle round and flipped him up easily on the sofa. He grabbed the backs of his knees and shoved hard, thrusting his cock back into Kyle's ass as it rose for a better angle of penetration.

"Yes!" Kenny breathed harshly, watching his cock fuck Kyle's asshole. "YES! So fucking tight! Your hole is so fucking tight! Spread your legs!" He begged, Kyle did as he was told and spread himself wide for him. Kenny looked demented, eyes dark and gleaming with lust,  
"Fuck me harder, DEEPER!" Kyle screamed loudly, Kenny licked his lips, nodded helplessly, and worked his hips as fast and as hard as he could. This feeling of intense pleasure/pain Kyle never wanted to forget it he wanted it to go on forever,  
"STAN PLEASE HARDER!" Kyle moaned loader now, but this time his demand wasn't met, the pleasure, all movement, feeling of friction had stopped, the person that had been bringing him them feelings had stopped, "I shouldn't have done this" Kenny's voice came out quite broken as he picked up his clothes, changed quickly and left just as fast as he had left Kyle empty of any feelings.


	5. Take away my pain

**A/N - I'd say sorry for the last chapter... and the ones before it, but I'm not :D _*insert evil laugh here* _It's the story :3 and I hope you all are enjoying it as much as I've been enjoying writing it and reading over it myself... rate, review, blablabla said it all before, but it is greatly ****appropriated. Lots of love Sayomi-san**

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_~Kyle's P.O.V~  
_  
Funny, huh? How your life can easily be over with the slice of one blade. Well that's what I did. I couldn't take the harsh pains that this life caused me anymore.

_-A few hours before -_

I sat on my living room floor, completely naked, after having screamed the boy's name whom I loved, to the boy in the middle of fucking me at my own disposable, both boys at which are the two closest people to me in my life, I went up to my room and just thought for hours about all the crappy shit that life hasn't stopped throwing at me, but before I even noticed it, I was trying to stop the pain in a very permanent way. I sat there in my room making yet another deep arm length cut all up my wrist, each cut for every one problem I've ever had. It's not like I'm depressed and needed help, but I've never felt like I'm being suffocated by… gallons of pain before, never in my entire life. You see my mom all she wants is for me to become a Doctor or a Sargent. She wants me to make something out of my life. My dad wants me to become a lawyer like him and go to Rutgers school of law in NJ but I don't want to be that or a Doctor. Cartman keeps calling me the same old names from when you're a kid and there's so much of that you can take before you go insane, Kenny now probably won't ever talk to me again with how awkward that must have been for him so I've lost the 2nd closest person to me and lastly the one that caused me most of my pain, Stan my closest friend. I told him that I loved him and guess what he did? He laughed in my face, telling me to stop joking around with him. It hurt so bad.

I sat in the bath tub now, the water nice and hot. I was getting ready to commence what was to come. The joy that would bring to me, seeing the light of a world I could leave. I took the blade to my wrist and slit it quickly letting the red liquid flow as the water turned a now darker shade of crimson red.

I suddenly heard the _***Thump***_ of footsteps? Running? Up the stairs I believe but that was quickly answered when the bathroom door swung open, opening to the best image anyone could see if it was their last, the angelic like, Kenny.

"Kyle!" He yelled as my eyes became slits themselves, closing ever so slowly.

"It's okay I'm getting you out of here! Please just stay awake for me. Oh god your covered in blood what did you do?" He had pulled me up and carried me in his arms. Why had he come? I don't get it.

"I wanted to leave you all in peace." I spoke in a whisper as I felt myself fading. He was running back down the stairs because I could feel my body bouncing.

"Kyle. Why? Why?!" He yelled.

"..."

"Kyle? Kyle stay awake for me!" And that's when I blacked out. Everything became dark and I was gone.

-

"H-Huh?" I opened my eyes to find myself looking up at a pure white room.  
"You're awake! Thank god." Kenny wrapped his long arms around my neck. He looked kind of shaggy for some reason.

"Where am I?" I asked in a faint voice.

"You're in the hospital. You wrists were cut and you lost a lot of blood. I've been here waiting for you to wake up," he had pulled back and propped himself up with my arm on the bed.

"For how long?" I asked.

"A week now. At least 6 days. Kyle please, you can tell me what happened? "His face looked curious.

"I slit my wrist. I just couldn't take it anymore! Everyone having all these ideas of me being this and that! Cartman calling me the same old shit! And Stan breaking my fucking heart and laughing in my face! And especially for what I did to you, that was the only way I could be free from all this. " I looked away from him still deeply ashamed of what I did. Kenny held a... hurt sort of expression. "Now you tell me why you saved me?" His expression never changed but his eye's looked sorrowful.

"Kyle the reason I stuck by you all these years. The reason I protected you. The reason I saved you was because I love you." He had given me a faint smile. But his eye's still never changed.

"Kenny. I never knew." My expression became like his now. And my anger faded.

"No one did. Even after what happened my feelings wouldn't change for you after something as stupid as that. I am as much to blame as you, I knew you were hurt and yet took advantage of you in that state just because of my feelings for you… Kyle I know you're going to say no... But please… would you be up for going out with me."

"I-I'm sorry Kenny. But I just can't. Not now." I looked back down at my hands, as I intertwined my fingers with his.

"I get it. But will you wait for me?" His eye's earnest.

I took a deep breath and thought. Soon coming up with my answer, I let the breath out.

"Yes. But you're going to have to make me fall for you." I said winking at him and giving him a smile that wasn't forced.

"Can do." He winked back and we both began to laugh. I hadn't laughed in a while and it'd felt great.

"Kyle!" The door to my room opened up with a _***Slam***_ and there he was. My murderer, Stan.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kenny had taken the words right out of my mouth.

I could feel my heart sinking back into its dark abyss.

"To see Kyle. Why else? What are you doing yelling at me, am I not allowed to see my best friend?" Kenny seemed to be getting defensive as so Stan.

"To see Kyle. Don't make me laugh. Why would you come a week after he's been at the hospital!" Kenny stood up and almost had his arms flinging around the room.

"Listen! I had stuff to do. I have my own problems."

"Yea like hanging out with Wendy and hurting your other friends. And what problems? Oh wait the one where you cause Kyle to almost kill himself!" Kenny was ready to throw a fist at the Ebony. Who stood a few inches shorter than Kenny.

"What?"

"Kenny!" I yelled out making both boys turn their heads to give me their attentions.

"What is he talking about, Kyle?" I crunched the fabric around my chest in my hand and bit my bottom lip.

"Kyle's in the hospital for almost killing himself and your one of the causes! Now get out! Your making everything worse."

"Kyle he's lying. Right?" Stan looked at me with eye's that pleaded and begged.

"He's right. And I would like it if you would leave." I turned my head away to hide my glare but hurt my own heart. How could I go back to this person after the hurtful things he did.

"Fine. But listen Kyle if you turn me away now. You turn me away forever."

"LEAVE!"I yelled. I had made my mind up and this is what both my brain and heart were telling me. But I couldn't help to feel a hurt feeling inside, was it really right... everything seemed so foggy now, my mind hazed over again, and everything went black.


	6. Trial of Tears

**A/N- I'm happy with the first part, it relates to the C.T I'm happy with the second part -w- very happy. I'm just not happy with them together, but meh guess a lot of writers have problems with their stuff now and again, also yeah the SouthparkAA reviewer is my house mate he's the one this fic is out to destroy :3 *insert evil laugh here* and it's just getting worse from here on out, so anyway please enjoy rate review ect... it shouldn't take to much time**

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~Stan's p.o.v~

After visiting the hospital I left in a very emotional state, hearing it was your fault, YOUR FAULT your best friend hurt himself like that, hurt himself with the intention to end his life, and you were the cause of the pain… I guess it got one back on me, this was hard, my chest was aching, so many questions were running through my mind. _How could I have left him in the hospital for that long?_  
I had heard the day after when Kyle and Kenny didn't turn up at school, that Kyle was admitted to hospital, but I did nothing… I had Wendy to please, she had the date set to go dress shopping for Bebe's party… looking back on it now I can't believe I didn't drop everything and run to Kyle's side, I was stupid, I had no idea what was stopping me. _Was I that tied down by Wendy that I would shrug off something as urgent as my best friend being put in hospital?_ Wendy kept me back the entire week; I had Bebe's party to go to that I even skipped my Soccer game for… it was all too much the decisions I regret were piling up. _What ever happened to bros before hoes?_ _What ever happened to Kyle to make him do such a thing? Was it really my fault? Were my actions that dickish? Was this all really what I wanted?  
_I stopped for a moment, wiped the stream of tears from my cheeks,  
I got out my phone and texted Wendy.  
_*-"We need a break, sorry, I can't do this anymore… I can't do it at the moment"-*_

~Kenny's side~

_Was it right?_ After what happened, the infamous cock slut Kenny had finally got a crush, a love, and confessed, asked to go steady, everything in his head was mush and his stomach butterflies, he couldn't stop being happy for a split second but in the back of his mind there were doubts, after what happened in Kyle's house, after what happened to his little kitten he didn't know if he could bring himself to love the little ginger in his broken state, or after the embarrassing ordeal of Stan's name being screamed while he was having sex with his crush for the first time, it ruined everything Kenny imagined it could be, but that being said… Kyle seemed to need the love and affection of another person, it might help to get his mind off everything shitty to know there is someone there that loves and cares for him. Kenny thought… he still couldn't process why Kyle would go to such extreme lengths, he couldn't imagine losing the one he loves for ever but this was something he wanted, if he knew Kyle wanted it, then he'd be there for him, his willing to go to any lengths now to make sure Kyle is happy and that something like this would never happen again.  
He stopped for a moment, wiped the stream of tears from his cheeks,  
filled his coffee and lifted both cups heading back to the room where Kyle was waiting.

~Kyle's p.o.v~

This seemed all too much, I honestly can't believe what possessed me to do what I did last week, but the pain just seemed too much to bare, like I'd rather have the pain of dying than suffer what seemed like eternal agony, maybe it seems like an exaggeration to some, but honestly… that's really how I felt. Though waking up to Kenny and hearing what he had to say, the pain eased it got lighter like he was the fireman to come douse out the flames, as cheesy as it sounds. I don't know where this all will go, I don't think I'll get over Stan, but I guess I'm going to have to try, he clearly isn't going to ever feel the same, and I have someone as wonderful as Kenny asking for me to return his feelings, I'd honestly love to, but at the moment all I can do is try, if nothing is there it can't be forced. I still can't believe I did this to him and my family, worried them all like this, it's more than just selfish, I would have left my pain for them all to bare, for it to only be a hundred times worse on them… they would have to suffer the loss of someone, I am just suffering the pain of life, everyone who lives are suffering just as much as me, and there I was ignoring the life ahead of me, every good thing that was to come, and just selfishly wanting out of the pain… The world isn't as bad as you think when you stop for a moment and open your eyes, same with the pain, when you open your eyes it's really not as hard to deal with as you think, all humans have the strength to help themselves there's nothing life throws at us that we aren't strong enough to overcome…  
I stopped for a moment, wiped the stream of tears from my cheeks,  
as I heard the door open being greeted to Kenny's angelic smile holding two cups of coffee for us both, I smiled back at him, I hope things will change… it's all in my hands now.

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…. 3 weeks later ….

"Hgggn… Ky… kyle!" Stan groaned thrusting up a little more, reaching for a better angle, Kyle's face was beautiful through the eyes of Stan, cheeks bright red in embarrassment, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat that was glistening down his body, his mouth wide opening drooling on the odd occasion bobbing like a fish as he tried to word his need for more, Stan understood and thrust inside him faster and harder while pumping Kyle's own erection at the same tempo, the sex was hot steamy and both boys didn't for one moment, think about keeping quiet, they were voicing their need for each-other and how much they were enjoying it. The room was filled with Stan's occasional groan, Kyle's sluttery begging, moans and pants, and the sound of skin on skin slaps.  
"AAHH~! STAN PLEASE I'M NEARLY THERE, PLEASE FILL ME, COME INSIDE YOUR DIRTY BOY!"  
Stan smirked and broke all rhythm to make his last few thrusts, "hnnn aah…. AH….AHHH"

"AHHH!" Stan jumped up, eyes shot down, quickly aware with what happened. "Fuck."

~Kyle's p.o.v~

Kyle rolled over, before slowly sitting up in bed, he rubbed his eyes and sigh, Nightmare? Or another Great dream, he couldn't tell, he can't deny he wanted to be like that, but admittedly it wasn't going to happen, he had other goals at the minute, the dreams were holding him back from moving on. Kyle swung his legs of the bed and stood up to go shower, aiming to feel fresh and have a much clearer mind after, he fixed his hair and changed quickly leaving for the bus stop skipping breakfast entirely.  
"Hey" Kyle muttered in the direction of Stan, the ebony just nodded back  
The small ginger wasn't entirely happy with how things were going, all three boys agreed that Cartman shouldn't know what had went on, in detail, so as he was kept in the dark he kept dragging them out together, admittedly all the boys bar Cartman were probably unhappy with it, but just rolled with it to keep things from getting more complicated than they needed to be, Kyle still harboured a lot of strong hatred towards Stan, rage, tears and jealousy was all that consumed Kyle when he was around the ebony jock, he didn't think it was entirely health to feel that way, but it's not entirely healthy to continue putting yourself in a situation you don't like or putting yourself around someone you feel that strongly against. Somewhere deep down in the gingers heart, he knew he still held something for Stan, but it was either long dying or he was just trying to bury it under negative feelings for him.


	7. In the Presence of Enemies

**A/N - Thank you anon reviewer :P I went back and changed a lot of the dialog layout, sometimes I forget to actually pay attention to it but most of the chapters after chapter 1 were laid out alright :P But anyway I am pretty happy with this chapter 3 and loving the story, hope you all are ^^ I'm really proud of it but anyway... on with the fun :3**

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Kenny was round at Kyle's today to finish of the Biology project they had due for tomorrow, both boys were working hard on it neither talking for hours, only listening to the sound of Kyle's Ipod. The song changed causing the ginger to glance in the direction of the speaker he looked out the window though and caught a glimpse of two dark haired people walking past his house. He knew who they were without further inspection; they normally walked past his house around this time to see each-other off to their own homes. He rolled his eyes at their interlocked hands. Pretending was getting really old for him, and he knew it. He mouthed out 'So glad you're both still so pleased' sarcastically to himself.

'_An older version of me is she perverted like me would she go down on you in a theatre'_

Kyle stared out his window, watching Stan hand-in-hand with Wendy as the song played on his Ipod. He scoffed as Wendy's lips barely made it to Stan's cheek with a kiss before she turned away in a pathetic blush. What was that? Kyle almost broke into laughter watching this pitiful display. It was almost insulting to him that Stan accepted such meek display of affection from her and not see the potential he had to offer him

'_Does she speak eloquently and would she have your baby I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother'_

The song continued, Kyle watching Wendy's attempts to seem mature and graceful. The way she moved as she spoke made it obvious just how much she was trying to seem intelligent, but her intelligence had long past. She giggled, rubbing Stan's head gently. Moments later she seemed to be lecturing him. Kyle scowled at the sight, how on Earth did Stan tolerate her constant nagging? Parents weren't even as strict as she was. Actually, Kyle chuckled inwardly at the thought of Wendy drilling her children.

'_Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no'  
_

Stan looked towards the house for a moment as Wendy clung to him. Kyle smirked devilishly, knowing that Stan was thinking, and only wished Stan would now be ready to return his feelings…

They stopped walking and Kyle stared at them again. Stan seemed to almost be yelling at her for a moment, but that wasn't possible. Stan say anything rude to the 'princess'? Kyle almost cheered as Wendy turned away from Stan, angrily crossing her arms and pouting. She pulled away as Stan tried to wrap his arms around her. Kyle, wearing a huge ass smile decided he ought to go out and pay a visit to the two. Kenny not questioning anything as the smaller male got up to leave; he kept his head down and searched for the end of his project

"Stan." Kyle said, trying to hide the smugness of his voice. He walked over to his 'friend', "Is there a problem?" He asked innocently as if he was unaware of what was going on.  
"Wendy's just being kind of…" Stan trailed off. Wendy turned to him quickly, fury in her eyes.  
"Kind of what?" She snarled.  
Kyle tilted his head, frowning at Wendy, "Really? Well, what did he do?"

Wendy went off, ranting about all of Stan's flaws. Kyle's expression changed to anger. It wasn't right; Stan chose this angry, nagging, nit-picky bitch over him. He sighed and turned away, for a moment…. And next thing he knew, he was back facing Stan and Wendy, all made up and hugging again.

"Glad to see you made up." Kyle said dully. He felt that it was now a loss. He could no longer enjoy watching their fight because now they were happy and lovey-dovey again. Right in front of his face. "We really haven't talked in a while, Stan. You seem like you've been pretty good." Kyle faked a joyful voice, trying not to show his internal depression.

"Yeah, man. What about you?" Stan asked, he acted like they hadn't spoken in years, though in reality it was about two weeks.

"Not so great." Kyle replied bitterly, depression forming itself back into anger, why would Stan care anyway, it was weird though, having Stan asking him how he had been. His 'super-best friend' didn't know him much anymore. Kyle remembered Stan saying he'd always know Kyle more than anyone else would, that was a lie.

"Really, dude?" Stan asked. He actually sounded like he cared; he even let his arm fall from holding Wendy close to himself. "Wendy… I'll catch up in a bit… I need to talk to Kyle, guy to guy, you know?" Stan told his girlfriend, earning himself a displeased pout.

"Fine, Stan." Wendy glared between the two, walking off in a huff. She must have known that an argument wouldn't have done any good, not when it came to a 'Stan-and-Kyle' moment though that reaction seems to give the impression she was none the wiser about the confession.

Stan moved towards Kyle as Wendy walked away. Kyle's expression grew angry; now that Wendy was gone, and as Stan tried to touch his shoulder he flinched away bitterly.

"Kyle, the fuck!?" Stan asked, dumfounded by Kyle's sudden mood swing.

Kyle gritted his teeth, "What the FUCK is your problem, Stan? You just decided that it's a great idea for the two of you to stop and stand in front of my house? To wait for me to see you two… acting so fucking lovey-dovey?" He refrained himself from punching the shocked boy in front of him.

Stan swallowed hard after a few moments of heavy silence, "Kyle… I… I wasn't trying to make you feel…"

Kyle rolled his eyes, "Yeah Stan, yeah. It wasn't enough for you to laugh a rejection in my face, and act like we're cool a week or two down the line after not even showing up while I was in hospital? But you need to rub it in as well?" He spat angrily. Stan could feel the venom in his words.

Kyle waited for something, an answer, statement, anything, but the dull night air stayed quiet. He was happy to be getting his emotions out, to see the regret in Stan's eyes as he stood there with nothing to say. It was what he had wanted for so long. It was more than empowering to him, it was vengeance. Sweet, sweet vengeance.

Why stop now? Kyle had more to say, more to ask. Stan wasn't saying anything, leaving an open time for Kyle to finish. "Did you even tell her about me, Stan? Does she know how I feel, what we could have been? What we always would have been?" Kyle sounded slightly calmer this time. The silence prior to this part of his rage gave him a moment to compose himself.

Stan stared at the ground, dully shaking his head, "I… couldn't tell her." His voice sounded on the border of cracking. Kyle loved it. Stan was always bad with this stuff, Kyle knew how emotionally weak Stan was. He almost felt bad for doing this to Stan, but after what Stan had done to him he could care less.

"Because if you did she wouldn't have wanted you... Is that why?" Kyle sounded cold, colder than he ever had. He hated Stan at that moment, more than he had ever hated anyone before. Stan nodded in response; Kyle noticed a tear dropped from Stan's face to the ground. He almost laughed at him, "Good. I hope she finds out then! I hope she leaves you a terrible mess the way you left me! It's only right for you to go through what I went through!" Kyle was back to screaming, "I want you to know what it's like, Stan!" He finally felt his own tears falling.

"Kyle just stop it!" Stan finally looked up, rivers running from his eyes. He looked at Kyle for only a second before turning away with his eyes shut tight and walked away.

Kyle crossed his arms, trying to regain himself, "Fine, Stan, walk away. Do you think that gets rid of me? Gets rid of all our memories, everything we did? No. It won't. You know that. And if you pretend it does then you're the joke now, Stan!"

Stan turned back slowly, wiping his tears away, "Is that it? You think you're a joke to me, Kyle? You're my friend! I would never try to forget you!"

"Friend? Friends sure as hell don't do what you did to me, reject me in such a way stomp on every feeling I had! Friends don't leave one another to rot in a hospital bed with no care in the world you goddamn prick!" Kyle fumed.

Kyle really had to fight off the physical anger he had, he badly wanted to hit Stan, to punch him and see his pain. He wanted to make him scream, make him cry with as much pain as possible. He wanted Stan's blood to be on the ground, he wanted it to be his fault that Stan's blood was there. He already got him crying, but a little fight wasn't even close to the pain Kyle had gone through.

"Know what, Stan? I can't stand you. I don't want to be near you." Kyle said, turning his back. He had to leave before he did get physical. He had no choice.

Stan's teeth locked in a tight clench, "All that? All that and you're just going back inside?" He asked, anger fuming through him this time.

Kyle turned back to get a glimpse of Stan, "Anger, confusion, depression, loneliness. That's how I felt, Stan." He smirked a bit devilishly now, "I though you oughta know." Kyle walked inside, leaving Stan angry, confused, depressed, and alone.


End file.
